Saturday, February 7, 2009


IRL I'm fairly shy, quiet (unless I've gotten into the rum again), and horridly bad at being assertive.

I realized today - well, over the course of the last several days - that I am driven by competition and the desire to be best. Doesn't matter what I'm best at. Just need to be given recognition for exceeding expectations.

I'm leveling my hunter as heavy Survival (which is not a leveling spec, it's a raid DPS spec) and pugging instances constantly as a change of pace to kiting mobs to death. Every time someone asks me if I'm looking for a raiding guild because I've impressed them with my play, it's a badge of honor. (Or ego, but you know.)

When I started tanking on Besh, I dove into theorycrafting and gear planning in order to be the easiest healing target possible. I still do it - and ever time a healer laughs in Vent and says "Yeah, one of these days she might actually take damage!" it's a badge.

Back pre-BC, I made my name Alliance-side on Emerald Dream as a stamina-stacking, AP-lovin', sword-swingin' combat rogue who 'wasted' points in Improved Sap and still set up camp on top of the damage meters no matter where I went. Then I leveled a druid, and exceeded general pickup expectations by being able to tank, heal, or DPS any given level 60 instance by level 58. I was a Good Hybrid, and I built my druid's raiding career around being a Good Hybrid. At the end of one Live Strat (5-man, thank you) our tank /blinked at me. "Dar, I didn't realize you weren't 60 yet. Damn."

But there's a definite price to this - I'm the warrior class lead of VTW, the unofficial-official tank coordinator, and there's all of three or four drops left in the entire game that I'm even vaguely interested in. I'm slowly losing the drive to play Besh, to excel at being a warrior, because at this stage of the expansion there's nothing further up for me to aim towards.

It's weird.